I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
