I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
