great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
