I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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