I'm lost and stupid without you.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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