Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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