do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize