left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
