Got a toothbrush?
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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