wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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