Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
