I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
