LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
