I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
