Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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