margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
