And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
