They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize