we were pretty classy up until the second keg
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize