if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize