i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
