I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
