I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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