ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
