He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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