One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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