that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
this boner is exhausting
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
