there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
