You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
