She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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