Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
