Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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