My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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