You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I have post one night stand depression
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