Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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