Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize