It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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