If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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