somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
