Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
