wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i can't believe i had my finger in that
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
