Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
