So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
