too bad you live with your parents still
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
