My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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