Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
