Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
