I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
