I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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