i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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