I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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