Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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