He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
