A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
