Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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