I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
