Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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