So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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