Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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