I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
