Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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