nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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