PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
