he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
