She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
