i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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