White coat. Heels.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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