If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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